went back to SJI today.
saw most of the teachers i wanted to see (those still around yeah).


mr chandra: realli miss that guy. he's so intellectual and friendly. i feel kinda sad that he's retiring this year yeah.... he only taught me RME for a short while... yet i learnt so much from him. so approachable and so amiable. SJI will miss another good teacher along with miss ong and mr lee.


mr tung: he was teaching maths to the 312 students when i saw them. they were having so much fun even i couldn't help but smile while standing outside. the atmosphere in the class really reminds me of 411... when mr tung taught us maths... fun and enriching though slack. he's realli like a father figure to me yeah. then when we spoke to him in the staff room he was like giving us tips on how to handle maths C in jc. it's like i wanna see him retire to enjoy his life yet there are still so many people out there who can really benefit from his teachings as a maths teacher.


my god can mrs kwok sing. she sings so well and has such a nice voice. didn't realli noe she had this talent until today. heh. i liked the introduction for CF ("he's tall, he's dark [black], and he's one big pain in the ass... mr fernandez [roar from the crowds]).
great songs played by mr sirhan, bro jason mr cf:
soul asylum - runaway train
scorpions - forgot the title
guns & roses - knocking on heaven's door


excellent stuff la. then went out with some 411 ppl. then victor all this left, so hong zam and i went to queensway to help zameer find his cubatos... but couldn't find so we went to penin where it was the same thing so he settled for a nice pair of adidas sympathy runners which looked sweet. haha chao poseur. =P
and the girl he took a picture with looks cute... oh well... more eye candy so better heh.

lampa. someone playing with the tag boards. oh well. hurhur


totally screwed up today. i missed maths tutorial cuz i forgot the change in time. was like so apologetic when i saw miss kwan. and got back my maths test results.

so yeah. then i was playing hockey with jamie, marcus, jinfeng and paul from 2:50pm all the way till training started. paul has improved so much! man and he keeps claiming he's not good 'nuff for the team... he makes me feel bloody inferior. just hope he makes it to the team yeah... he works hard. so like yeah... we kinda played with the girls again today... was like too tired to realli chase the balls and do the usual stuff, so i fumbled LIKE MAD during the matches... good thing we won. good 'nuff.


after training at about 8, i went out to pastamania with jinfeng, paul, bok, marcus, julian and allan. man these guys are so fun to be with yeah, so friendly and fun-loving. so like yeah... we ate all the way till 9:15... then we went to cold storage to buy some coke. jinfeng challenged us to drink 5 giant gulps of coke in 1 breath in a short time. i tried of course... felt like shit and burped like siao after that... then everyone else had a try... everyone failed BUT allan. pro la he. but the expression on his face was like shit after drinking so we all had a laugh heh. then we got up 963 where we continued talking cock like mad till jinfeng dropped off. then we kinda dozed off after that. i nearly overslept again. as usual so yeah.


tomorrow... going back SJI. gonna meet some old friends. check out the changes haha. will probably skip the whole damn SA thing to go back SJI.

fun day! heh
so cool. took the bus and saw this damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn hot J2... who i think has like one of the most beautiful eyes i haf ever seen yeah. woah yeah i was like half-sleeping half checking her out or something hah. so yeah... damn dumb haha.


starting to enjoy john smith's PC lessons... beginning to become more interactive than monotonous... alot of laughter and queries thrown tothe e floor so yeah... should be better i guess.


training was kinda half boogered. was also surprised that thinesh actually showed up for training, so we kinda a poking fun session at him la. then i got pissed off by some bloody monkey who can't sweep the ball straight. ended up wif me going to the damn field to pick the ball like... 6 times in a row. then i kinda commented that his sweeping sucked (not as if mine was fantastic... but better) then bok kinda suaned me la. then i threw my stick and walked off the pitch for like... 15 minutes to cool off. then i went back for training to play abit. guess it was quite ok. then we had the highlight of the day.


highlight: yixiang, a guy we don't realli like in hockey for some reasons like 1. being unable to listen to instructions (kinda his hearing problem... so i won't count that as his fault) 2. not being able to aim for nuts and injuring almost EVERYONE in the team like me (leg), jinfeng (nose and leg), jamie (leg) and adrean (leg) for example. so like yeah... that booger took a shot during a match break from the back of the goalpost... he bloody missed the ball and the ball deflected off a stick and hit joyce in the mouth. so like yeah... she kinda covered her face and squatted down while everyone went to check out if she was alright. then yixiang was like at the goalpost saying "where's my ball where's my ball" then looking up to see everyone circling joyce. iskandar pointed out that it was his ball that hit joyce and he kept saying "it was me meh... realli me meh". and then he spectated from the back of the goalpost, without offering help or even saying sorry, which kinda pissed EVERYONE off. then debbie and i went to look around for some ice-pack... but turns out there wasn't one readily available except at the Chapel. then the mentor took her to the COR (chapel of resurrection) to rest while we continued. i was kinda ticked off that he didn't even offer an apology, and jinfeng was bloody pissed at him cuz of previous experiences with his specs which i shan't realli touch on.


then after training, iskandar, jinfeng, adrean and i went up to ask joyce if she was ok... she was yeah... but she had no idea who it was who did it... so we like half hinted yixiang but didn't realli mention his name heh. (not good being a tell-tale) but joyce was kinda pissed i guess... she was like telling her friend to help her "hate that person". damn funny. LOL. cool shit today. one of the reasons why i love hockey.

haha. it's now a fact. prolonged exposure to hong yew does u harm, i.e deteriorate ur english.
zameer and i can soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo attest to that yeah. had a conversation with him over MSN.
my god... just look at his blog entry... then look at ours. 'nuff said. hurhur.
shit man... we can't even haf a proper conversation with grammatical errors now haha.
thanks hong (sarcasm).


haha fuckit. got 2 more lit essays due now. knn. NO MOOD LA. mai lai laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. diew

a fulfilling day ruined by the teacher i least expected to be pissed with me.


baik la. reached sch late today (still had time to msg a friend to talk abt the moon on the way... hur) then i pretended to blend into the crowd to avoid being marked late. then had PE. mr ong taught us how to play vball (ironic i wanted to join that game and i can't even dig the ball properly), so like yeah... learnt how to spike the ball as well as set the ball up. then after PE i went to shower and change before going for maths lect. sat with ts and shuting... ended up making fun of shuting with the help of teng siang all the way. then after maths lect. the 3 of us went down to the library reading room where there was a blood donation drive. shuting couldn't donate cuz her veins were too small (whatever that means), then teng siang pangseh-ed me. but at least he helped me forge the signature for the consent form i got from my form tutor mr lee. huruhr funny reading guoyi's stupid form... alot of things i didn't noe about him. also surprised that bugger don't have AIDS, HAHA. had to fucking wait for 3 hours just to donate my blood.


the process: registration. went smoothly, collected my "be nice to me, this is my first donation!" sticker which i crazily pasted on my tie. then i sat down with guoyi and marcus. guoyi couldn't donate cuz he had a flu, but surprisingly marcus made it thru that crap with the same illness. then they had to prick our fingers to check our blood. painless, but i kinda faked an ouch which was delayed, which like made the woman collecting the blood laugh, and e girls behind me were like giggling like mad. siao. then i sat down for like... 2 whole bloooooooooooooooooody hours there to wait for my turn. hurhur. yes, marcus drew a "poke here" on my arm where the vein was for them to insert the needle while i put a "don't miss this" on his vein as well. so like yeah. hurhur, there was a girl behind me who like covered her eyes, screamed and said "that looks veri painful" when they inserted the needle into my vein for the collection of the blood. hurhur. and i didn't even feel it. cool how others can feel the "pain" for me. i had a competition with 3 other guys to see who could donate the fastest, and i went in last, and came out first! HAH. zai qius. blood flows like tap water in me. then there was this councillor beside me who was hilarious, she seemed so petrified by the needles and stuff and kept asking me if it hurt. she kinda screamed at the pain caused by the painkiller (ironic eh?) then when they flashed the big needle she kept asking me "it looks very painful", ended up with me reassuring her and saying that if it hurt she could bite my arm (?). so like yeah... then i freeloaded the drinks and food as usual before leaving.


then i went down to the cafe to be informed by the teacher that ms kwan (my maths tutor) was damn pissed with me cuz i've missed her lessons 2 days in a row and if i missed her lesson another time, i "won't need to go for maths tutorials anymore". wtf man, try to "save the world" by donating blood and get scolded. siao zabor, not as if i wanna skip her lesson on purpose. i even sacrificed my breaks to do it yeah, along with my lit and chinese, so what makes her think that i only pon hers. siao. i'll ask my lao da (mr lee) to go settle her in the staff room tomorrow, hurhur.

well done la... mr lee said i passed my econs test this morning during the Learning Journey. damn proud of myself... though it's a close shave.. it's still something i'm proud of. haven't passed econs this whole year, so there.


learning journey was cool. for the first part at the tuas naval base. the part about the ships was damn cool. wonder if it's possible to do NS in the navy instead of the damn infantry cuz the navy seems sooooooooooooooo bloooooooody coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. esp being in the submarine detection thingy ship, it's like a interesting. the other part is too damn screwy for me to describe in words. haha. kapui. ruined the whole experience.


so like the LJ (lanjiao a.k.a learning journey) ended at 1!, had to rush down the CCAB for my hockey training. first time doing pitch training. bloody fun also. pitch doesn't hurt the shoes, or the sticks as much, and it isn't punishing by any means, just had trouble finding the damn toilet, malu like fuck haha.
so like yeah, usual training routine, train passing and sweeping before we played a small game. during the game the sprinklers came on and it was "raining" on the pitch. cool shit yeah. was dribbling when i got sprayed in the face by the damn jet, then my specs became wet and i couldn't see a thing, THEN I LOST THE BALL and nearly tripped on it. not funny man not funny. good thing my team was good so yeah, scored 2 during the small game at the end of it w/ help from bok and marcus (thankew thankew). mua haha. assisted 1 by giving it to marcus. so like yeah, hopefully can make it to the team still. wanna prove to myself that I CAN DO IT. (in sec 1, mr. arul said i'll never make it in hockey. hurhur)


then we showered and went to town with jialiang, waihou, bok, marcus, yixiang while jinfeng pangsehed us at the bus stop by going home. wanted to meet janice, ts and shuting but since janice and teng siang gonna study at jurong and shuting was gonna go home, i went to eat LJS w/ e hockey guys. bok and the rest left after that. jialiang, wh and yixiang went to scout around town for stuff, so naturally i followed them till about 6. met debbie at taka and asked her abt the girls supposed outing and turns out it was cancelled. weird. then jialiang wanted to follow yuhan and joyce but they were gonna leave soon so like yeah, continued drifting. was so gonna buy a ripcurl t-shirt at the ripcurl shop but must save $$$. then i went home myself as usual, and on the bus i pondered abt something that never struck me before...


will talk abt that when i can fully understand it.

yes yes it's 9:25pm and i still have 2 essays to rush. how the fuck am i supposed to finish LOL.


recap: sch half-sucked. econs test was one bloody screw up. hurhur no time as usual. hopefully can border near the passing mark again. just hope so yeah.


PE was cancelled cuz mr ong wasn't around. fucking bummer. i hate it when there's no PE. i haf too much energy to exhaust in mid-week, so like yeah. i went to run 3 rounds for warmup on my own before asking mr ho if i can join hong's class for PE which he agreed heh. that's my kind of PE teacher man. no wait, he IS also my PE teacher so like yeah HURHUR. played bball with a32. the class is so united. envious hurhur. then ended up playing badminton with whye kiat, eddie and xinhe. ex-sji vs. ex-fencers. hurhur. one of the SJI teams won, simply put. then i went to run 1 extra round on my own in desperation to try to exhaust myself, which i didn't. so i went to take a bloody cold shower on the 3rd floor. i think i'm beginning to like taking showers in sch, veri refreshing.


turns out i FAILED my maths test. AGAIN. cuz of careless. i got 8/25. i lost like 6-7 marks for carelessness? fuck man, so coulda passed. and i studied abit. hurhur. inching closer to the better grade. zai qius at work. MUA HAHAHA.


stupid Sł seminar. (alliteration). sat with bok and jinfeng. damn funny sial. jamie and i slipped headsets thru our shirts to listen to radio thru the damn seminar which lasted like 1.5 hours. and roland lee was sitting right behind me without noticing a single thing. power la.


after that i bumped into hong, eddie and his group. so like i followed them to queensway. where SURPLISE. wee teck (victor) was at the mcdonalds with his CJ friends. prob. havocing again haha. not bad la. managed to take a jab at him again. miss those days when i could jab abit here and there. fun times. then eddie left for his FENCING, so hong and i walked around to try to look for clothes. wanted to buy this white shirt, but didn't want to cuz i told ts i'll follow him to buy clothes on friday. so there.


was messaging ky abt whether she finished council meeting so i could go back with her, but turns out her bad. ppl where arnd so she went home on her own. huruhr. so there. a half-sucky day.

recap: monday was another slow day. so happy it always ends with hockey training. something i look forward to. always a good way to destress. turns out my group can shoot already. wtf man? and i'm like missing like pissing at a toilet bowl. (now that rhymes?) hurhur. must work hard, if not cannot retain the zai qius title that jamie has bestowed upon me. WUAHAHAHHAHA.
mrs praeman was also talking to us abt commitment to hockey. hoo hoo. i wanna make it to the team man. nothing less. my aim for now.
power la... then later in the day managed to play a game with the J2s... had the coach on my team haha... almost guaranteed a win but ended up with a draw. i even had a shot on goal but too bad it was blocked. felt gooooooooooooooooooooood.
then learnt a new technique today:
slap shot
>> cool move. more accurate than the shot (less power though) but definitely more powerful than a sweep. and the ball can fly. woohoo. for now it shall suffice, i guess. haha.


training ended at 8 so like yeah, i fell asleep on the bus and i bloody ended up dunno how far away from my house. hurhur. then i crossed the road to take the bus back and i nearly overslept on that bus too. madness. haha and i wasn't even exhausted. weird shit man. reached home at 9 plus and had dinner before showering and diving onto bed. tahu la. didn't even study.


zai qius.




today: then i woke up like shit today. turns out i had a fever early in the morning so like i hurriedly ate a piece of bread and downed 2 panadol pills with water.
then i just messaged mr lee to say i wasn't feeling well and wasn't going to sch before lying in my bed to try to get some sleep.


when i woke up, it was like 11 and my brother was playing warcraft 3 on my computer (turns out he woke me up with the noise.).
felt my forehead and the fever kinda faded. (sleeping without the air-con = teh good). then noticed i got a message from mr lee with a message containing "?". (well done la haha)


so like yeah. spent the entire afternoon trying to do econs and maths. managed to write out and improvise on my LR and SR essay. had like 10 paragraphs and about 5 diagrams? imagine writing it over and over. gettings boring (machiam over-specialisation.) kk too much econs.


turns out HONG SKIPPED SCH ALSO. WTF! wad's this world coming to haha. not bad la he. he managed to complete his lit homework (2 of 3 essays). so proud of him. salutations to u hong. respect.


tomorrow will try to run 2.4 on my own. power la victor. 10:49. another champion. cannot lose out to u also. will work hard. :)
woohoo. looking forward to saturday's training at CCAB. finally have pitch training. must shoot balls!

been a slow week. haven't touched my books throughout the entire week.
days just seeming to evanesce by itself.


been irritated by my own group of ppl. by no fault of their own.
i've also been shouting at ppl who are normally nice to me.
guess something is really wrong with me.
hmm. perhaps i'm changing?


what do u do when the only person who can make u stop crying is the one who made u cry?

i've never seen myself cry myself to sleep yeah. (laugh all u want.)
i've never been so sad in my miserable life. i'm feeling sad for myself, but this is on a whole new lvl.
i never knew i could still have such strong feelings for someone after such a long time. and to just kill off the emotions so abruptly was too much for me to bear yeah.
it was so overwhelming i guess i couldn't take it.


just lay down there in bed. put on my earphones and just stared at the ceiling to try to forget about it. but it's not possible. i don't know how ppl out there do it. but i can't. so yeah. all i know is that i stared blankly for quite awhile before finally falling asleep.


woke up feeling weird.
the sadness had subsided by abit.
i guess a part of me died inside last night.
either i killed it, or it killed itself.
cuz i can't feel it anymore.


hai. everything in my room seems so strangely unfamiliar now. it's as though i've been in a coma all this time. all this while i've been living a dream. it's sad.
but i guess... i guess i've finally woken up.

Richard Cory
By Edwin Arlington Robinson


Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.


And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace;
In fine we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.


So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.






my show is over. the lights have faded.
it's time to go home.
i'll walk this road myself
maybe it's better for me yeah
cuz i give up.
i've given up on everything.

not bad not bad. PTM went quite smoothly, mr lee tried to make me sound "not-so-bad" infront of my parents so like kinda spare me embarrassment heh (he's veri "intelligent"... and he can definitely achieve better results") and kept reminding me NOT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP now. hurhur.
he also made it quite clear that at this rate i won't be able to keep up with 4 A subs (2 free periods a day + end at 4:50 WITHOUT TRAINING) unless i'm able to put in like 4 hours a day at least on weekdays & 7 hours over the weekends.


kinda brings me back to the days of SJI. i realli miss mr tung being my form tutor man. days when i actually enjoyed going to school and looked forward to lessons.
kinda lost the feeling after coming to SA and being caught up in the race for a BGR (which i'm a bloody failure at) and "academic excellence". esp. with the packed timetable and hectic training schedule, i've lost my sense of direction.


did a 4.8km run today. TRYING TO aim for a good position in next year's X-country (long shot eh?) heh. but i'm just trying my best yeah. completed it in like 23 min. definitely have room for improvement. must aim to cut like MAD and try to WIN A MEDAL. siao liao siao liao haha.
runner's high is clouding my mind. so like yeah


listening to jay chou - qing tian


WIND is your chinese symbol!


What Chinese Symbol Are You? -- Updated (7/21/03)
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